Saw a woman today as soon as I walked into the train. She was fidgeting the entire ride. She couldn't concentrate on her book, she couldn't keep her eyes shut, and she had to check her cellphone for time every minute.
As we are nearing the end of the Transbay tube, she started packing her cigarette pack. The slapping sound was hard to miss. She went on for about a minute and then takes out a cigarette and her lighter before we even approached Embarcadero. She must have been eager to get a puff. But she didn't even get off at Embarcadero, she got off at Civic Center, same as me. The entire time from Embarcadero to Civic Center, she was bouncing her legs nonstop, sighing every few seconds, putting her head down and then up, down and up, repeatedly.
I don't know if it was because she needed to smoke or she's got other problems on her mind but it definitely looked like she is very uneasy about something. As soon as she approached the last set of escalators, before we even got a peek at the cloudy skies, she's already taken a few puffs of her cigarette.
Such desperation that I can't comprehend. I do have acquaintances that smoke and none of them ever appear as anxious and desperate as she did for a puff. It's sad.